Santa Possum?

Well I thought the battle was over,

Last night we were sitting around in our pajamas watching a new episode of "Without a Trace." I was contemplating the joy of returning to my classroom. (I am one third finished - you know you really aren't excited about a chore when you have it divided into parts and you eagerly look forward to the next fractional part being over)

Out in the kitchen I hear some rustling. Not loud, but definitely something. I asked Paul if he heard anything. Of course, he said "No."

I heard it again - I assured him that there was indeed a noise in the kitchen that wasn't natural. I put the television on "mute." I, once again, assured him there was a noise in the kitchen.

We briefly plotted our attack. He would go in through the hall door to the kitchen and I would take the den door. He moved through the hall, stopping only long enough to empty the laundry which was in the laundry basket into a pile on the floor. I flipped on the light and advanced from the other side. We were going to get that thing cornered!

Paul noticed the noise was coming from the kitchen trash can. The possum spotted us and he climbed up the inside of the trash can and leapt from the top. Paul caught him in mid-air in the laundry basket. The possum was startled and not the least bit amused about being in the laundry basket. Paul yelled. "Get the lid!"

Now, I had been organizing the kitchen and all of the camping boxes had been stored away, most of them in the garage. But one, just one, was in a cabinet in the kitchen. I drug the box out and removed the lid and slammed it into the laundry basket.

We peered into the basket. Sure enough, it was a possum. We named him Sneaky - keeping with the "S" theme here. He was about 50% bigger than Snarl and Stretch. Paul says "I've got to get this guy's picture." So, he proceeds upstairs to get the camera and leaves me holding down the lid so the critter can't escape.

Pretty soon he returns with the camera. We crack the lid and take a look at him. Paul takes his picture several times. He doesn't like the flash - too bad. He growls at us. You know, this was the first Possum language I had heard. I must say it was not pleasant. He growled at us several more times. Oh well.

Paul headed off to get his car keys. We briefly considered changing out of our jamis - but as we know the route so well we decided against it.

We headed down to the historical society and put the laundry basket with Sneaky in it into the monkey grass. I took the lid off so he could climb out. He just sat there. Finally Paul turned the basket on its side so he could get a picture of Sneaky ambling into the monkey grass. Sneaky took off like he was a Possum with a mission. Paul took a picture, and if you look carefully, you can just make out Sneaky running as fast as his little legs can carry him.

We get home, "Without a Trace" is now over - I missed the ending and I am just hoping that the possum population is going to be among the missing in my future. We retire to our patio to watch the fire in our new outdoor fire bowl and contemplate from where this new underground insurgency is assaulting our home. I question whether they could be getting in through the roof. Paul assures me that is impossible. However, perhaps they could be coming down the chimney. There is a hole in the flue from the gas heater but it just seems "too far" for a possum to have traveled. He will look at it later and see about bricking up the hole.

Now, you see, this is another story. Lo, many moons ago, we purchased a gas water heater. It lasted way beyond its predicted life. It never really made enough hot water, which made for many family arguments, but it was reliable and there never was a good reason to replace it. Several summers ago, just as we were leaving for Tahiti, it began to leak. Not aggressively, but enough that it was certain that we were going to have to replace it.

Paul called the plumber, then he left on an errand and told me to purchase a LARGE gas water heater and have the plumber's guys install it. The plumber came out and just shook his head. It seems as though the water heater was vented into the brick chimney, which was perfectly safe, but the chimney had to be lined to meet the current code which had been updated after the war. I decided it would be best if I didn't inquire just which war he was referring to. He recommended an electric water heater. Where, he inquired was our electric box? He collapsed in a fit of giggles upon seeing our electric box and gave us the name of an electrician. It seems the electric codes had also been updated, same war I am sure.

After we came back from Tahiti, we had the house rewired. Then we got an electric water heater and our problems were solved. No one ever thought to block the opening into the very tall chimney.

So, this evening, I decide I will go down into the basement and check around and see if I can find this hole. Sure enough it is about four inches square just right above the new water heater. And there. . . . . . . . on the top of the water heater are . . . . . . possum prints!!!!!! At last, we have found out how they are getting into the house. They are climbing to the roof, entering a brick chimney and climbing down 35 feet, coming out into the basement, climbing the stairs to the kitchen and searching the kitchen for snacking opportunities. Now, that's determination!!

I call Paul and tell him there are possum prints on the water heater. He comes down and agrees with me. He rummages around and finds some mortar and blocks the hole. I hope we have solved our problem.

So that is where we are. The next possum is going to climb down forty feet and be disappointed. He will then turn around and return to the environment. At least that's my hope.